Nathan's Sparrow Video (Produced by Sparrow Clubs)

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Hey, Lady...

Hey Lady... don't you realize that your long stares and furrowed eyebrows are about to make me cry? I know we are in this children's boutique at this yuppy shopping mall together shopping for our darling daughters and it appears that my son's noises are bothering you and you are in every subtle way, trying to non verbally communicate that to me. Do you not realize that my son spent most of his first eighteen months in and out of the hospital, enduring horrific surgeries, going to therapies, being told that he may not make it through "this one", and yet you see that he looks and acts different and it seems to be o.k for you to glare at both me and him in this setting? Did you not see that this is indeed a "children's store"? It doesn't say "Only typical children" on the outside. I can handle a glance or even a double take, but glares and dirty looks I can not bear. Do you realize the tears that you have caused me since last night? Are you the typical person that my family is going to have to endure for the rest of our lives? Are you the one that is going to fight against him being integrated with your high functioning daughter? Is your daughter going to grow up and be the one that is going to hurt his feelings and make him cry because of your ignorance? Yes lady, you scarred me. I will get over it and quit crying about it soon. You are the one that causes my skin to grow thicker. I only hope you find a way to see that there are other people just like my son that you will come across again someday and I hope you can find it in your heart to smile or completely ignore them because your glaring eyes and dirty looks do more damage than you can imagine.
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6 comments:

  1. Aw Brandi. I am not looking forward to these days slowly approaching, yet I know they are coming and I have no control over it. It is sad how people react to situations they are not used to. I read on the list serve some time ago, that some of the parents made small cards to hand out when you come across someone "interested" in your child. They pretty much said "I see you are interested in my child. He has been diagnosed with a very rare genetic syndrome called Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome. You can learn more about it on (blah blah blah) website. Maybe that would help to alleviate the pain of watching people direct their ignorance to your child. Maybe put a picture of him on the card and the address to your blog. This is something I think I will do one day when the time comes. I like the idea. Should you have had that when you were in that boutique, that lady could have read your blog and maybe felt bad for the rest of her life! I'm sorry you went through this. I know I will as I'm sure we all will, or already do. What hurts us only makes us stronger!

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  2. I am a humble follower, never commented until tonight. Your story and your beautiful son are so inspiring. You are an example of what life and love REALLY is. My son and my family have been through a very difficult first 20 months and it has completely opened my eyes to all little ones that are "atypical." I am so sorry that any one person made you feel this way, it is ironic because you deserve more props than any "typical" mom. Continue to blaze your path of love and light. We are cheering you and Oliver on from the stands (and I cannot believe the gains he has made, what a miracle). God bless!

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  3. Brandi - what a painful experience. It is such a challenge for us a parents of RTSweeties - how does one respond in that situation. I often have looked back on moments like that in my journey and wished that my own emotions were not so strong. Then I might be able to approach the person in question and turn it into a transformational learning opportunity for them. But it is hard to do that when your protective nature as a mother rises up. What I do hope is that yours and all the other RTS mom blogs will be a start to changing the hearts and minds of those who know us...and slowly this will spread. I too dream of a society where those who don't fit into the very narrow box of "normal" are not just accepted but are indeed celebrated. Sending you hugs.

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  4. I've never commented either but just thought id tell you that you, and your family, are in my prayers.
    I'm a nanny and I worked for Tara Bennett. Thats how I found your blog. I love checking it, love love love the photos! :) Keep your chin up your family is beautiful!

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  5. Hey Brandi! You are in my thoughts & prayers tonight. Thankfully we have not yet experienced this kind of plain nastiness with Sam, but haven't we all at some stage been the victim of a judgemental passerby? It is so sad that you were made to feel this way, but you know what could be even sadder? Going through life as THAT Mom who, being blinded by her own self-thought superiority, missed an opportunity of meeting such an amazing mom and beautiful little boy.

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  6. There is true beauty in the differences that make up all of our kiddos! I love that we (as mamas) can cheer together when one of our kiddos succeeds and weep together when one of them falls. I love following Nathan and his many successes. I cheer with you (here at my computer)when he does something new or a new technology makes his life a little fuller. Know that for every one judgmental, unkind mother there are 100 others who look on with awe at the GENUINE blessing that Nathan is. Love you sister!

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